An Ethiopian Adoption Blessing

Introducing Isley Rahwa

2011-06-30T05:57:00.005-04:00

On June 29th the sweetest face ever became my precious daughter. I am over the moon happy! It has been a very long seven years to parenthood and four years in the adoption process. Whew. But look at this face, it was worth it in the end. I love this girl! Did I say how happy I am yet? :-) Will post more this weekend. Thank you for following this crazy journey in my life. xoxox

Today Brought More Changes...

2011-06-18T01:32:00.003-04:00

Today brought more changes and more uncertainty. There are no answers. Nothing is clear. However, I have made the decision to begin living my life not in fear, hate or worry, but in peace and joy. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or how long this process will continue to take, but I won't waste anymore time stressing about it. It is wasted energy. What will be, will be.

New Court Date

2011-06-15T20:44:00.002-04:00

I woke up yesterday and decided I was going to be at peace no matter what. And lo and behold that afternoon I received a new court date. June 23! Prayerfully I will receive a ruling that day and can show off pictures of my baby girl finally! Keep your fingers crossed and hands clasped.

The Golden Top

2011-06-12T22:11:00.006-04:00

Besides complaining I actually have been doing some fun things while waiting for Ms. Isley to come home. I finished updating her dresser, which has now taken up residence in the kitchen while I work on the ceiling for her room. Yes, her ceiling! It is a harlequin design similar to the dresser...ahh wait and see.

Before:

What was wrong with the before you ask? It just wasn't girly and youthful enough. So, with a little turquoise paint from my floor project, gold leafing, green frog tape, spray shellac and new colorful knobs, I created a beauty for my beauty.

After:

Disclaimer: the room was a little dark when I took the pictures, so you can't see how beautiful it really is...so much for cell phone cameras, but you get the idea.

What's Bugging Me Today

2011-06-10T19:23:00.002-04:00

The other families that didn't pass court received new court dates, but no not Tami. Seriously, I feel like someone has it out for me. The past 6 years have been so incredibly difficult for me, I'm trying so hard to turn it all around, but can a sista get a break? I mean how difficult is it to go see your child, leave them in a foster care center, then have someone say, we will get back to you. I missing all her major milestones, I'm not there to comfort her when she is sad and lonely or see the joy when she smiles. She is going to be more and more delayed with each moment and frankly I'm so over it all. I just want my baby home! Yeah, 4 years of patience is GONE!

Sorry I kept you. What's eating Tami today?

2011-06-08T22:54:00.003-04:00

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you.

Without a strong rhyme to step to.

Think of how many weak shows you slept through.

Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you.

Yes, I’m back. It’s been six months. S-I-X. Since starting my blog this is the longest hiatus yet, but let me tell you. I need a break from Groundhog Day I seem to be in.

I know you are sitting there reading this saying one of the following things:

· Tami what happened with the call?

· Did you go to Ethiopia yet?

· Is Isley home?

· What the #$%@ is going on?

Well, over here in Tamiland - remember the place that is all about me – pretty much it is the same crap, except with a different situation. Oh, do I sound a tad bit angry, bitter or fed up? Yup! Pretty much I am! I will fill you in on all the little details in the upcoming posts, but let me answer a few outstanding questions.

1. The call. I was in total shock and then I looked at my daughter’s picture and wasn’t sure if the agency didn’t make a mistake. Truth.

2. The referral. I got over my insanity and began falling in love with the photo and the idea of finally being a mother.

3. Ethiopia. I went to Ethiopia and fell totally and completely in love with my daughter…crying on the way out because I had no idea when I would go back to bring her home for good and that was March 13.

4. Isley. WOW. My baby girl is amazing. I love MY KID and she loves her momma. The nannies at the foster care center said she doesn’t like new people and they were amazed that she did not fuss one time with me. Not one time. We were like yin and yang from the first moment we saw each other. Did I mention how beautiful and sweet she is?

5. Waiting. My waiting has been terrible! I received my referral Dec. 8^th. Had court on March 9^th. Failed court on June 8^th. Did I mention June 7^th was my birthday? Thanks for the memories.

6. Changes. I probably hold the recognition for being the person in this process the longest. I have experienced almost every change that Ethiopian adoption can give you and can I tell you…I am worn the hell out. Sorry, I’m trying to keep this as G rated as possible, but I am EMOTIONALLY SPENT!

7. Now what? Well, I keep waiting. I received the referral of my beauty when she was 3 months and now she is 9 months. At best it will be two more months before she comes home. Let’s not talk about the worst. If the worst happens I’ll be collecting for a second trip to spend more time with my baby.

That’s about it! Sorry for the months delay and for this post not being encouraging, supportive or giving more information. Frankly, I just needed an outlet to provide a $%(* fest! I so need a different way to release all these emotions and kickboxing once a week is not enough. I need to kick box EVERYDAY!

Oh, I don’t even have the patience/energy right now to spell, grammar or content check this, so this is a one thought, one type, hit blogger post! Check it in your head for me, I know you all are way smart! Maybe I’ll do more of those in the upcoming future: What the heck is eating (or beating) Tami today?

You Can Call Her...

2010-12-11T09:30:00.005-05:00

ISLEY

Yes, Sen and Mercy you were right in the name game. Baby I's name is Isley "R" (oh, yes another letter we cannot share the official name of until we pass court). After looking at that beautiful face I just couldn't stand to call her Baby I again.

And no one got the date guess correct. And Rebecca you were the only one to guess 3 months for Isley's age. Now what do you win? I have no idea! LOL I'm terrible at mailing things, but since I'm in such a great mood these days send me your mailing address and I'll find a little token to send.

So, until I write the next post, here are some fun facts about Isley R, she:

is a happy and healthy 3 month old (translation...stealing the other kids bottles)
looks like a chocolate cherub (translation: sweet and beautiful with pouty lips) or an M&M (translation: round and bald head)
has the biggest prettiest eyes (translation: will be able to wrap everyone around her finger...my girl)
is very verbal (translation: has a big mouth like the rest of her family)
loves to play (translation: will be creative)
has the cutest little smirks and smiles (translation: will get into everything)

Thanks all for being such a great source of support throughout the years. And I am so excited about all the new Gladney APs that stopped by to say congrats...what an awesome community! Now, I can finally get to some real posts again! I'm even going to get a new blog and I have a new title I'm excited about! I'll move over when Isley comes home and the adventure begins. Wanna know what it is or should I wait? See I'm pretty verbal too (translation: big mouth). ;-)

Wanna Play Another Game?

2010-12-09T14:07:00.001-05:00

What do you think this is?

Want to start Again With the Date Game?

2010-12-03T07:24:00.003-05:00

Well, since I haven't gotten a referral yet, that means no one was a winner. So, how about trying again...nothing beats a failure but a try. What day will I receive a referral? LOL Have fun! (ha ha) In the meantime I guess I'll send off paperwork for updating fingerprints! sighh

And I Wait...

2010-11-28T20:14:00.004-05:00

This is pretty much what my family room looks like right now. Me trying to keep busy, with my phone(s) on the table, food, nail polish, bills, comforters, laundry, movies, books...ughh, sighhhh. What is this like week 226? Seriously! I'm over this already! Baby I will be like 20 or better yet I'll be like 60 when she comes home. Oy vey!

Edit: I officially calculated how long I have been in this process and as of Nov. 28th it has been 1,255 Days -- or -- 179 Weeks and 2 Days. I'm ridiculous and now should be shot (figuratively please)! I know life happens but ughhhhhhh!

ARGHHHHHHHH!

2010-11-23T15:13:00.002-05:00

Since this is a Christian Blog... I won't say uncool words but WTX%$#!

I am so loosing my mind over here! Shut up Robbin!

H&M has finally realized diversity pays the rent

2010-11-16T13:34:00.005-05:00

I'm not a big H&M shopper. The clothes are cute, but they don't last long. In my youth (yea, I said it) I would have been all over H&M like white on rice, but now I only go in occasionally. Those occasions are when I am with a younger friend who is dying to go or with one of my BFF who is a size negligible and will look good in a brown paper sack (even at age xx...older). Usually I will pick up an item or two but that's it. It's always a great idea to mix the inexpensive with my vintage, TJMaxx and couture pieces. I also hear they have a kids line so this will be awesome for Baby I...well that is until I see how they wash. I've seen a few pieces in the thrift store and they looked trashed! Maybe Not?

While I may not be a fan of shopping at H&M their holiday campaign is fabulous! Look who is represented:

Yay, beautiful Ethiopian and Somalian women - Waris Dirie and Liya Kebde - do your thing! They make me want to go buy something...what the heck, my own stimulus plan!

G-MA's Surprise Baby Shower

2010-11-15T06:51:00.003-05:00

My mother is so excited about Baby I and all of her friends know it! I've finally gotten her under control about asking me "what is going on" because it drives me a little nuts (more than I already am). When people ask me "so, what's going on with your daughter?" I know they mean well, but does anyone not think that they would not know (especially my family) when I receive (and accept) a referral. It will be pretty clear that Baby I is in the house. Oh, yes it will...Baby I will be in the house. And she may even have a name. ;-)

Oh, I digress, this post wasn't supposed to be about me...back to my mother. She is so excited! This past weekend her girlfriends told her they were getting together for drinks and they gave her a grandmother's shower. Awwww. Baby I's first shower! Ok, Tami's friends...you all need to get on it...dang it back to me again. tee hee.

Check the goods out below, nice huh?

Sit still Too Long and I'll Paint You

2010-11-05T20:45:00.005-04:00

No, there has not been any movement with Baby I or you can call her Isa, Isla, Ivy, Isley or Imani. :-) Robbin told me I'm not stable right now; actually she told Celeste, but then she told me. What a friend, however she is right. You know that FBI list the APs made? I never, ever, ever checked it until recently, now I'm a mad woman about it! I must check that list 6 times a day. Oh, wait... I haven't checked it in a few hours I'll be back. Nothing new, just the same family who went on the waitlist the same day as I and they were referred twin girls (awesome). Hey, I want to know if anyone has gotten a referral before me! And if so, who? Then why! LOL LUNATIC! ME! I admit it!

In my off lunatic moments, I am doing useful projects like repainting my house. Yes, my entire house. I was just bored with it. I decorated my house about 5 or more years ago and it just didn't reflect who I am today, so it was time to start over. I have plenty of energy now, what the heck. Word to the wise, don't come and visit me or if you do, don't stand still too long because if you do, I just may paint you. Guess I'll go back to painting the living room and sunroom. I'm a little ADD so I have to do like 2-3 projects at once. I'll let you know when everything is finished and send you to whatever blog is showing my home which will more than likely be Desire to Inspire. It won't be until the spring/summer, I'll let you know.

Well...

2010-10-22T12:27:00.003-04:00

Those who said 10.20 and 10.21 for referral dates? WRONG!

Still no referral.

No one said any day next week, I don't know if that is a good sign or a bad sign.

Anywhoo...maybe next week is "the week."

Have a great weekend!

Bi-Racial Hair Video...a must see

2010-10-18T13:13:00.004-04:00

If you have followed this blog since the beginning (silly you) then you know I used to be controversial. However, after three years (yes 3) I got old and tired, the adoption process beat me up and I was forced to chill out. Well, I've rested. Have lots of energy and starting to feel like the old me again, so I thought what better way to begin anew than to stir up a little controversy. I mean emotions...or maybe that is thinking. Dangit where are those strikeout functions for blogger?

;-)

Warning: if you are new to this blog, please don't view the video below if:

you want to remain in a bubble, have no feelings (either way)
think times are changing and racism doesn't exist and
think it's perfectly normal for the Duggars to have 1 more child. I don't know what the Duggars has to do with this video or post but seriously 19 kids? OUCHHHHHHHH

So, here is the video Bi-Racial Hair. I had so many emotions when I viewed it. There were many umms and oohhs and yeahs and yups and wows that came out of my mouth. I had to view it twice. My cousin said she had to undergo some brief trauma counseling afterward. LOL Let me know what you think and we can have a deeper conversation in the comments section.

Again...remember you have been warned. See this is the nicer, kinder, gentler Tami.

How Old?

2010-10-17T15:30:00.003-04:00

Gotta get this one out there...How old do you think Baby I will be at referral?

So far I have 3 guessing games going:

Name
Age
Date

Who will win? Maybe I can come up with some sort of prize but I tell you...you might not get it until next year! LOL Maybe the AW will mail it for me.

Top 5 Baby Names

2010-10-16T23:06:00.005-04:00

Well here are the top 5 baby names for Baby I. One is actually my sunshine's name:

Ila
Isla
Ivy
Isley
Imani

So many names, so little time.

Let's Play: Guess that Date!

2010-10-15T23:07:00.003-04:00

I was told by the Adoption Whisperer (AW-Robbin) that it was time for me to play a few games. So, Robbin, here I go following the rules of the adoption blogdom (or is that blogsphere?).

This game is just for shintz and giggles because I am terrible about mailing packages (sometimes they never get mailed). Sad, but true...so, there are NO prizes. Unless of course the AW wants to provide one to the winner. ;-)

Moving on...passing time.

When do you think I'll get my referral?

ARGGHHHHH!

2010-10-15T14:13:00.002-04:00

Nothing else left to say!

Entrance to Wonder

2010-10-09T12:13:00.005-04:00

There would have been no wonder without the doorway that Alice finally managed to enter. That colorful and whimsical doorway foretold what adventures were waiting for Alice on the other side.

That must mean that Baby I must have a fabulous door for her room and life of wonder to come. You got it! I bought my baby a new door today (the room didn't have a door so and any ole door would not do, nope!).

Behold the entrance to Baby I's Wonderland (oh, the picture stinks b/c I have no camera). It is so tiny it's anti-climatic I know but you get the point. :-).

Adoption Timeline

2010-10-07T13:17:00.002-04:00

Why is it that my last Adoption Timeline update was 12/9/09?

LOL

I pretty much suck.

Hey Robbin?

Can you give me some dates for this timeline? You keep my dates better than me!

Guess I'll update them this weekend!

BTW...I'm going crazy over here. I must be if I'm blogging when I know no one reads! I think I'll email Gladney! LOL

Today I Shed a Tear (Tears)

2010-10-06T22:48:00.003-04:00

Today I shed my first adoption tear.

No, I had a big cry and it was at work.

Why?

A former co-worker had just returned from a soul searching two-month trip to India to visit her birth and adoptive parents. She was talking about how great the trip was, but at some point in the conversation she mentioned how her birth mother had been sad at different points in her life (she knew her, although she didn't find out that it was her birth mother until she was an adult) about giving her up for adoption (to a family member). At that point it clicked that my excitement (about this adoption) was at the cost of someone's grief. How excited I was, but how sad a mother and family must be to be giving a child up. That made my heart literally hurt and stomach sink, I just started crying at work. My friend had to come across the desk and calm me down then take me and buy me hot chocolate. She provided as much encouragement and support as she could and the only words I could muster were:

"I just want to do the right thing and be a great mother."

I guess as I'm on the final countdown to my referral it is getting very real and these are probably normal worries. I just pray that the little spirit that God blesses me to watch over that her birth mother and family have enough faith to know that she will be ok. That God has placed her with a mother who has been preparing for her and waiting for her for a long time. That she will love, support, guide and raise her to be a proud, smart, respectful, Christian, fun loving, creative and confidant woman. Proud to be all that she is by birth and by growth. Baby I has much to look forward to and as her mother so do I and even with the tears today and the ones I will undoubtedly have to come, SO DO I! I can't wait.

Stay Tuned...

Baby I in Wonderland

2010-10-06T07:54:00.009-04:00

I'm working on the nursery! If you didn't remember (how could you since it was years ago) I am a part time interior decorator, so I am somewhat particular when it comes to my design. Translation very slow! I have been thinking about this nursery for a year! LOL It is going to be a combination of the following three rooms -- if you have any imagination but there won't be any big pictures of panties I promise! I started to block that out but it made me laugh so I left it alone, I figured you would scratch your head a little and say what the heck is that Tami up to now? In my house we are calling it Baby I in Wonderland. ;-)

Because I like it!

2010-10-04T18:54:00.002-04:00

Well, I would narrow the names down but why spoil all the fun? Maybe you guessed it. Maybe you didn't. Will my feelings be hurt if you don't like my kid's name? Nope! Why? Because...I like it! And so will my little Baby I.

No referral news yet.

Top Baby Names

2010-09-24T03:56:00.004-04:00

Okay, my faithful blog friend Sen (why am I not connected with you on facebook) asked me about Baby names. Let's play. I already have a name picked out because...I like it! So, why don't you guess. Feel free to give me your feedback, I'm not going to change it...it will just be fun. Will I tell you before referral? No. lol If you know her name...play along and act stupid. ;-)

Top Names for Baby I:

Icelynn
Isabella
Ivy
Isla
Isley
Iman
Isra
Ila
Ilana
Imani

So much for 5. It's in there. Good Luck. Maybe I'll narrow it down to Top 5 in a week or so.

Still Here

2010-09-23T06:13:00.002-04:00

Yes, I am still here.

No news.

Nothing new.

Just boring ole me. I had dreams of posting baby pictures of me up until the referral but that didn't happen. I had dreams of taking pictures until she came home but that isn't happening. Oh, I had so many dreams. Now, I just dream of getting up everyday and putting one foot in front of the other. Yes, it is like that some days. UGGGGHHH!

I have started shopping again. Yay! Working on the nursery and playroom. I'm busy. Maybe I do have some pictures to post.

Who knows, I may get a burst of energy one day.

If you still read this...you get much credit for following my longggggg journey. Thanks for your support.

So, How Should I Be Acting?

2010-07-25T00:00:00.001-04:00

I had a friend question if I was preparing properly for my daughter to come home (forgive me friend if this is not what you meant). I stopped being stressed long ago about this adoption process. When my referral of my precious Baby I comes it comes, until then I am enjoying my summer, making adjustments and "getting my life/house together." I think I've done pretty much everything I need to thus far:

childcare identified
support systems in place
doctor (I need to work on that)
bedroom room set-up (I'll do that at referral)
cultural relationships/friends established for Mommy and Baby I

Now, I'm just chillin', working on a few projects, getting to know some new people (some of which I won't know after this summer, but a free meal and a few laughs can't be bad) and just being. Possibly my nonstressed out attitude from the days of yore (really this is who I "used" to be, that crazy questioning, stressed chic is ALMOST gone!) have my friends concerned or have them thinking I'm not preparing properly but...I actually think I'm good. And as my mother told me, no matter how hard I try I'm going to miss something so I need to just relax.

So, my question to you all...what were you doing the last few months while waiting for your child(ren) to come home?

Thursday Thrift...It's a party (dress) for Baby I!

2010-07-22T19:51:00.005-04:00

I'm at 4 1/2 months of waiting for Baby I and I'm chillin'. Not going stir crazy. Not really doing anything. Really. I've actually just started shopping again. Remember, in the beginning I was shopping like a mad woman? Yes, I had to put that on hold for the last year, but it's back ON...ok slightly. For only the good stuff because I'm really expecting some good hand-me downs...hmmm somebody??? LOL

Today, I went to the thrift store and started looking through the kids clothes. Now, when I look I'm not just looking for cute stuff I'm looking for extraordinarily cute and expensive stuff. I mean if it isn't expensive to begin with then what's the point? It helps that in my past life (when I had lots of money...before this crazy economy) I had lots of loot and I was a label whore. It also has something to do with my design background because I can pick a diamond out of a pile of horse manure (ewwww). Well, sometimes that is what it is like at a thrift store. Just keepin' it real...but when you find that DIAMOND...BAAAABBBBYYYYYY!

So, I went through a few items and went straight to this beautiful dress (really it's much cuter in person. It's silk and really cute!).

I looked at the label (Calypso) and JACKPOT! Not to mention, the dress had not even been worn. I came home and looked online for the dress (here) and it was on FINAL SALE for $75 (originally $125). SERIOUSLY?

Tami paid......

DRUMROLL PLEASEEEEE

$2.96

THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I GET FABULOUS BARGAINS AND YOU DON'T. teee heeeeee heee hee.

xoxoxoxox

Square Biz - Again???

2010-06-27T14:31:00.004-04:00

Remember this post: http://tami-borninmyheart.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-all-squares.html

It's that time again. My friend, who is making Baby I's quilt, said I better start collecting all of the squares, so I thought I would try this again. Last time I was a, well, uh...square failure. I never sent off my squares to the other people who sent me squares. And the bad thing about it is, I had their squares. I still have their squares, in my office, with the envelopes and everything. I am just terrible about mailing things. If I have to mail something, I now know, it probably won't get done...online billpayer is for me.

So, if you want to participate in the quilt for Baby I (clearly not for her trifling mother) please do! Here is how:

1. Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like of African origin or that has special meaning (just tell us what it is).

2. Pre-wash and press the fabric. Then cut two (2) 8" squares from the fabric.

3. Include your "good wish note" on a 3 x 5 card, being sure to sign and date it. I will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that will be given to Baby I one day. If you decide to participate THANKS and I can't wait to see the squares you send! If you don't participate...I'll still like you anyway, read your blog and let you read mine. :-)

Please leave me a message (with your email address if I don't have it) if you would like to participate and I will send you my mailing address.

Jesus Take The Wheel

2010-06-02T01:00:00.002-04:00

I've been praying a lot lately and as my cousin said last night he believes that something great is about to happen for me (more than just Baby I although that will be AWESOME). This is not just my transition time but my time.

I took a whole lot of time (2+ years) to become "official" because I just had a lot of stuff going on in my mind and on my plate. Right now much of that "stuff" is gone, but please believe the rest of the stuff that is a major concern I'm working to eliminate...it will be out of here soon. What is the definition of insanity? Exactly! I'm no longer doing those same things over and over.

I want to have a clear head when Baby I comes home, but as my mother says there is never a perfect time. So, the one thing I have been doing all of these months is trying to get my life right with God...without Him I am nothing. I am much more peaceful, prayerful, faithful, joyful...all of those pleasant "ful" words. ;-)

Also, I forgot to share this little story that happened to me last year. I've always heard different people say how God spoke to them. I really would think yea, ok. I just didn't understand or know how that could happen until it happened to me. The week before last I went to sleep and in a dream God said to me "Tami I am your only way. Tami I am the only answer. Come to me for all of your problems. I am the only way." I woke up with a huge migraine (that's how I know when my dreams are real) and said ok, I get it...I hear you. Ever since then I've been recommitting my life. I'm so sold out on The G-O-D. I mean he is some kind of AWESOME - trust me - he has given me so much favor and carried me through so much when clearly I should have had much more than a bruised knee. How can I not love and adore him? How can I not be sold out on him?

Sorry for getting extra on you this morning but...I was just feeling it and had to tell you how Great My/Our God is and play one of my favorite songs for you.

Take it away Carrie:

I Used To Be Like This

2010-05-25T01:00:00.001-04:00

It's so funny, when I started this process I was full of hope like this.

I had all the opinions in the world like this.

I kept my ears on the boards and made great fun like this.

If anyone plucked a nerve they got this.

I was always known to find a bargain, like this.

I shared my dreams, like this.

My house (in or out) was good for a laugh or two, like this.

But lately the only thing I seem to be full of or known for is this.

Yup.

A grumpy bear.

For those of you checking this blog a big fat ZERO!

I'm a Grump with nothing insightful to say like the other bloggers who blogged all the way up to their babes coming home...I guess I would have if this process would not have taken me so stinkin' long, sorry.

I'm trying to make lemonade over here but frankly I have a freakin' worm on the inside of it.

I'm sure by the time Baby I gets here there will be no blogging but I figure I will just keep this up as best possible for the few that have followed me for these excruciating 2+ years.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'm trying to start this waiting process out sane (as possible that is)

2010-03-26T07:11:00.005-04:00

Last night I was talking to the Adoption Whisperer (Robbin) and she asked me what day did I receive my letter stating I was officially waiting?

T: I don't know.

R: What do you mean you don't know? We all know that day? Stop lying!

T: Really I don't know. It was like 2 weeks ago. Hell, my process has been so long I stopped counting dates.

R: You mean to tell me you FINALLY got the "date" and you don't remember?

T: NOPE!

R: .......

R: really?

T: Yes, Robbin, really. I can look it up if you like. Let's just say it was 2-3 weeks ago ok?

R: You are going to want to know that day when people are getting their referrals before you.

T: LOL . OK, I'll start to be concerned in October when courts reopen. I'll start praying and hoping for favor then OK?

R: OK.

Week 2 - Smoothie Failure

2010-03-20T21:33:00.003-04:00

Warm weather = smoothies

Maybe?

3 Pictures are Worth A Thousand Words

2010-03-17T21:22:00.006-04:00

Baby I's Playroom which is now my loft storage room. It's a Good Thing I have many months to clean this joker (and get new railings). If you didn't know, it was totally cleaned and cleared out last summer (2009)!

Week 1 - AWL (After Waitlist)

2010-03-16T18:14:00.004-04:00

I'm blaming the Project Baby I failure on all of you. What are you really posting daily? Really? Are you kidding? What? Seriously? Yea, OK!

I got skerd! LOL Right! I'm a punk and you knew it. Project Baby I pictures will be weekly. Who was I really fooling. Obviously not you all. tee hee. After over 2 years you know me by now. Slow. Procrastinator. AND SLOW. ;-)

I will have (maybe) the perfect picture of what my life currently looks like posted tomorrow. Too bad I don't have a fabulous camera to take pictures with. I'm saving my pennies to get one by the time I take my first trip to Ethiopia to see my little munchkin. What camera should I get Kristine, Tam, Laura, Robbin or you other fab picture takers? Please school me.

On the other update front. Remember the Italy man? Yea, me either. LOL

Am I supposed to be posting weekly pictures or something until I get a referral? I mean I'm the last of the Mohican's so I guess I can make my own game up I guess that is why I have Project Baby I. Weekly photos....I guess those photos can be of me or anything I want them to. Right? I'm sure Robbin will correct me since she is the Adoption Whisper.

Is it Just Me or...

2010-03-08T21:13:00.004-05:00

Are you all just ignoring the fact that I now have an official waiting for Baby I bar on my blog????

Day 1 of Project Baby I tomorrow. Wish me luck. I don't do very good at these every day post things...but the baby, the baby. lol

Awww Yeaaa!

2010-03-04T04:48:00.002-05:00

And this little thing belongs. Awww yea!

Dang Blastit!

2010-02-19T20:57:00.003-05:00

My agency has my complete package but there is 1 document that is a little off! So, I have to: re-do the document, get it notarized, get it certified, then send to Gladney. Guess what I'm doing next week? Heading over to a gov-ment office for certification...AGAIN! Then I'm DONE!

Keep your fingers crossed that next week a little baby timeline will finally be on the top of my page.

Also, I see a lot of people have done the photo 365 project. I wanted to but before you knew it I was at day 15, 30, etc. Instead I am going to do a Project Baby I where I take a photo a day until she comes home. Since my agency wait to referral is 8-9 months and then 2-3 months travel after that it looks like I may end up doing a Project 365 after all. Stay tuned!

Also, I want to rename the blog and start over (I'm bored and have been for a long time with this blog) but I need someone to design my new page. After a few years, I'm pretty over this page. Does anyone have a suggestion for someone who designs pages at an affordable rate?

Thanks!

Happy Valentine's Day Peeps!

2010-02-14T19:54:00.004-05:00

Well, today is my last Valentine's Day as a childless mother. YAY! Is it crazy that I feel like a mother already? I'm starting to think more like one and I love it Maybe that will make me cook more, ha! I even have on my online dating profile that I'm a mother of 1. Hey, I will be very soon so he should get that now.

I didn't feel stressed out about today at all. I went to church then came home and took a nap! I love naps - I'll miss them when Baby I comes home. Did any of the "boys" in my life even wish me a Happy Valentine's Day? Hmmm...1 did! The others didn't. I know they say it is because they think Valentine's Day is a made up day and they don't care...honestly I don't really care much about it either but it would be nice to at least hear it. I didn't ask for cards, flowers or all of that, I would prefer to be treated nicely everyday but to not even say boo. Boo! And the boy I met (mentioned on the previous post) wants to know why he wasn't mentioned...hmmmm, case in point dude, case in point. The older we get, the more set in our ways we become but bending just a little bit for someone you are interested in is necessary. Actions speak louder than words but in this case it was the action of no words that absolutely spoke volumes!

Oh...back to the post point. Happy Valentine's Day Mommies! xoxoxox

North Pole or DC?

2010-02-10T13:25:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure I saw Santa Claus loading up his reindeer to head back to the North Pole saying "WT #@C%!"

How Ya Like Me Now!?

2010-02-09T13:42:00.005-05:00

I. WILL. NOT. BE. MOCKED! At 10:20am, I finally got someone in the Secretary of State's Office and they were only open until noon today. So, I got in my SUV Crossover, ~~put on a little ole skool,~~ got on the phone, and drove to Annapolis. I couldn't find a parking spot so I made one and hoped for no ticket. I then trudged up the slushy, snowy, icy hills of Annapolis to...

GET MY FINAL DOCUMENTS AUTHENTICATED.

In the words of, the famous poet, Kool Moe Dee: "How ya like me now?"

Ummm...let's keep our fingers crossed that when my agency gets the package I don't have to redo anything or I don't have anything missing! Is 1:53pm too early to have a celebratory drink? LOL

The Adoption Gods Mock Me

2010-02-09T08:39:00.005-05:00

This is day 4 of my being snowed in. I'm not complaining because this is day 2 of my being off of work and tomorrow isn't looking promising. I've actually gotten a lot done at home; it's awesome not to feel guilty about not doing anything or going anywhere because I can't get there. It is so freeing. This time in is teaching me to take more time for myself with less guilt. Anywho, I digress. The only thing that I absolutely need to do (and right now) that I have been trying to do for months and especially over the last 2 weeks is get all of my documents certified and authenticated. I mean finalizing my package, to get on my agencies waitlist, has been ridiculous. Let's recap shall we:

I had to redo my homestudy
My case manager tells me I can get my child protection clearance fast, Child Services tells me no-6 weeks
I go redo my fingerprints at USCIS, a few weeks later I receive a letter that says my fingerprints were lost (I was in a 2 week period where all fingerprints were lost from the computer), I wait 6 weeks
I go to DC to have my documents authenticated and my homestudy was notarized wrong by the agency. Wait for new notarized statement
I need to go 2 more counties for authentication and certification but it snows! Oh, did I mention things are out of control professionally that I don't have a moment to breathe. Back to the snow. Everything is shut down. I have days off to go get my last documents authenticated and the government is closed! Of course when they open back up I won't be able to go immediately. I'm afraid to mail them b/c I don't want to wait 6 more weeks. I wonder if an overnight package will work but there is no one there to tell me!

Yes, the Adoption Gods are mocking me! I hear them now... "2 years 9 months and 3 days is NOT enough Ms. Lady. You MUST prove that you WANT to be a mother. That you have the persistence, patience, stick-to-it-ness, chutzpah, insanity, and sense of humor to be a mother." Let's see what else we have to throw at you they are saying!

C'mon Adoption Gods, give a sista' a break already!

Ethiopia is my Stand

2010-02-08T11:09:00.005-05:00

If another person says to me why don't I stop my adoption from Ethiopia and adopt from Haiti, I might, just might go postal. Why is it that people who don't adopt feel they can say whatever they want, throw out all kind of suggestions and then have the audacity to judge you for your decision? My conversations usually go something like this:

Them: Where are you adopting from again?

Me: Ethiopia

T: Oh. Why don't you adopt from Haiti instead?

M: Because that was not my choice. Adoption is something I thought long and hard about and I have my reasons...I just didn't wake up and pick a straw.

T: Hmmm

M: Why don't you adopt from Haiti?

T: Well, I just thought it would be the same thing. And the need is so great in Haiti right now.

M: Oh, and the need is not great in Ethiopia?

T: It's not the same.

M: Why not?

T: They have so many kids without parents.

M: So does Ethiopia.

Statistics start flying around now from both people.

T: I still think it is a good idea for you.

M: Oh, do you? Would you tell a woman who is pregnant to abort her fetus and adopt from Haiti instead?

T: It's not the same thing.

M: It is too. We (APs) don't make the decision lightly and our children are already in our hearts. And we think about the same things and prepare the same way as someone who is pregnant would, minus the morning sickness and swollen ankles.

T: You are comparing apples and oranges.

M: No. So, you say it is. I still haven't heard you say you are going to adopt.

T: No

M: Stop judging me. Do I have a heavy heart for Haiti in all its forms? Yes. I've been doing what I can and hope that I can do more in the country but haven't figured out how yet; I'm in prayer about it though. However, I'm not going to have people tell me what is right for my life and my child.

More is said but you get the point. Now, I am pretty much talking very loud and fast at this point...I'm pissed! I've gotten 2 different responses to this conversation

I still think it is a good idea.
I'm sorry you were right...I don't really understand adoption and I will think before I open my mouth again.

My mother said I should have just turned them off from the beginning and she is right. I'll admit though that my adoption is so much a part of my heart that I do want to fight about it. I want people to get that this is not a one-night-stand. That I will not breakdown for anyone about this choice. I want people to get that I will not tolerate anyone berating my decision and heaven forbid my daughter when she comes home. That is absolutely out so let's have it out now! It's that old saying "you must stand for something or you will fall for anything." I want them to get that when I made a decision to adopt from Ethiopia it was my stand (ok, one of them...I had to end this post on a smiling note).

Barbie...Get It Girl!

2010-02-07T08:52:00.012-05:00

I had tons of Barbies when I was a girl. I know a lot of people don't like them because they think it ruins a girl's self-esteem but I don't think that. For me (as a young girl) Barbie represented style, class, fashion and the it life that I knew I could have. I mean that house, those cars and the clothes! Barbie was my girl! When I grew up I kicked Barbie to the curb, for real adventures, although I wish I had kept her in the attic...sorry Barbie. I haven't thought much about Barbie until I just saw how fly "she" has gotten. I may have to start collecting Barbie now for Baby I. I'm sorry but look at those clothes...from the words of TamStyles, all I can say is Get It Girl!

My Big Mouth- Part Duex

2010-02-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

Before I get to Part Duex, what about the boy? He is in Italy! Hmmm...yeah...have at it!

Now, moving on to my Big Azz Mouf!

So, I was on the phone with my bestfriend and was talking about my free car seat. How it was okay but I didn't plan on using it in my car. It didn't look comfy enough for my baby girl's precious, diva head. Let's not even mention it wasn't cute enough to be in my car. She agreed that I should get a Britax. But then I couldn't leave well enough alone, it was like I had diarrhea of the mouth. I then said, you know the car seat will be good for an extra car. I'm going to give it to A and her husband because they are going to help me with pickups plus since she is the godmother I have to make sure she has all the tools. OOOOPPPPPSSSSSSS! As soon as I said it I was like #$%! I never had that conversation with her to tell her the reasons why I chose the other friend as the godmother. As soon as I said it I heard her say OOOHHH. It was shock and disbelief. You know like Be-atch we've been best friends for 20 years and this is how you treat me! I felt about the size of an ant right then saying please step on me. So, in hopes of creating a diversion, I just did what I do best...kept talking. I mentioned "the other woman" again so it didn't seem so obvious. Mind you, I knew I messed up but what was I supposed to do? Well, I didn't have to do anything, my bestie got off the phone with me, along with the shock in her voice. I was so distraught. I never want to hurt her feelings because I love her bunches. Literally my heart was hurting at that moment because I knew hers was. I didn't know what to do but I had to act fast. I was afraid to call again, so I ~~did what any self respecting woman would do who just stuck her foot in her mouth~~ I sent an email! The email was grovelling and went something like this:

...I would go to the end of the earth for you. I shed tears for you. I won’t give you my last dime (LOL) but I will split it with you as we have both proven that. I never, ever, ever, ever want to heart you. You are closer to me than my sisters...you ARE my family. I see you as my child’s aunt, my child’s family. When I thought about raising my daughter alone and creating a family for her alone in DC I thought about who my friends were. ...they are amazingly good friends and parents. They are always there for me and have promised to help me with Baby I when she comes home...pickups from daycare, babysitting, etc. And for Latinos, padrinos are very important roles not taken lightly...it really is a parental role. I want Baby I to know that although she is being raised by a single mother that she comes from a community that loves her dearly and this choice I made to “have” her was not taken lightly and she will have has much normalcy (role models and family) as I can provide. I often feel bad that I am not there to be a part of my godson's life while he is growing up. I don’t want him to just know me on the phone, I want him to know me and really love me like he does his other Aunts, but right now I’m just that person Aunt Tami (on the phone). I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER would intentionally hurt you...now unintentionally...that has been proven many times...lol. I love you as much as I love me...even as I type this I have tears in my eyes b/c I was am so... I’m an idiot......please forgive my stupidity and mouth that just won’t stop sometimes. I gotta work on that!

Yes, this is part of the actual email. It isn't that eloquent and has lots of mistakes but I was frantic and just had to get something out. This should give you an idea of what was going on in my head.

Her response was...

"It caught me off guard but I understand. It was difficult deciding with the two kids so I know the thought process. no worries, my feelings aren't hurt."

We've never spoken on the topic again. I know it mattered and hurt but this MOUF has a mind of its own on occasion!

Now, you are probably wondering what is going to happen now that I have this information on the blog. Won't it bring up bad memories again? The answer is...No. Neither of them read the blog so I'm pretty safe. Now, they will probably both read it and respond to this post and my poor little baby won't have any godparents and it will all be because of her mamma's MOUF!

FYI...

2010-01-31T18:35:00.005-05:00

I know I owe you all many posts, but I have been crazy busy with work. I promise part 2 of the "my baby godparents" story in a few days but until then I have an ANNOUNCEMENT.

I met this man ( a few months ago) who I gave my adoption blog address to this week. He looked at it and wanted to know why I hadn't mentioned him. Hmmmm...because ~~you may not be around long enough for anyone to really care~~ I wasn't thinking! But, since he asked...I decided to ~~appease~~, hmmm ~~humor~~ share my enthusiasm about meeting him. So, here it goes...

I MET A BOY! He's cute, nice, employed, funny, a Christian and a little difficult but I think you need to be a little difficult lest I run allover you. There you have it MAN!

2009...

2010-01-01T16:12:00.005-05:00

SEE YA!

KICK ROCKS!

GET THE HE#$ OUTTA HERE!

HAPPY TO SEE YOU GO!

I WON'T MISS YOU!

YOU STUNK!

R.I.P.

Can you tell I'm ecstatic to see it go? YUP! The 90s were great! The 01s (I guess that is what you call it) sucked! I almost died, lost a lot of money, shut 2 businesses down, met and dated a bunch of bums, gained weight, lost teeth & bought new ones (long story), had a car totaled, lost friends & family members (both literally and figuratively), lost my faith & lost faith in myself.

I'm looking forward to the 10s (that sounds weird). I have finally found my own, my faith is the strongest ever, my baby girl is coming home, I have lots of true friends to begin anew and can't wait to see what else happens but I know it is going to be all good.

Welcome 2010! I'm very happy to have you here.

My Stupid Big Mouth - Part I

2009-12-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

My bestest friend (K) in the world lives in LA. We have been like two peas in a pod since college, hmmm (covering mouth) years ago. I don't see her as much as I would like, maybe once a year, but we talk a few times a week. We've had normal ups and downs yet we always come out on top. I am the Godmother to her first child who is now 4. I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I knew her husband in college as well although she didn't. When either one of us has money and the other doesn't, we send it. When we shop for ourselves, the other is likely to get something as well. When one of us needs a bill paid and the other has it, we do it. We know all of the other's dirty little secrets (of course I don't have any of those). There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.

Now, the tricky part.

When I decided to choose Baby I's godmother/godparents that was a tough decision for me. Since I am single I wanted it to be more than in name sake. Some people choose godparents because they were guilted in to it or others because they are good friends. I wanted to choose the person/people who my daughter would not only love but who would see on a regular basis and feel like she really is a part of their lives. What if something does happen to me and I walk through those pearly gates? I want to make sure Baby I has the least amount of transition as possible. I want her to have the same (or like) experiences that I would provide with the family and know she is wanted. Also, because I am single, I want to make sure I have a positive male role model in her life at all times. I want to have seen the man (who is her godfather) interact with both children and adults alike. Basically, just as I was/am to my mother, my baby is going to mean everything to me so choosing padrinos (godparents) was tough.

Enter A.

A and I met about 5 years ago and have been hanging tough ever since. We just clicked. A, her husband and 9 year old daughter live 5 minutes from me. She took me to the hospital at 4am when I was literally on my death bed. She always has a helping hand and ear. We are crafty together. Run our weekend errands together. Hold yard sales together. Eat dinner regularly together and text when annoyed. Her husband is awesome with their daughter and other kids. Our family shares culture and they are committed to children in general.

Both K and A are my closest friends for different reasons but ironically we love similar things and hate the others as well. I am blessed to have them both.

So, who did I choose as Baby I's godparents and where does my stupid big mouth come in to play? I'll tell you in the next post. I would say tomorrow but if you know me you know that really may not happen. ;-)

More Fabulousness for Baby I

2009-12-28T03:00:00.001-05:00

Remember when I said I was going to use this fabric for the nursery and build the design around it?

Well, I'm a Gemini. I changed my mind and fell in love with something else.

I am registered on this fabulous site (www.wishpot.com) which I keep track of the items I love and when it is marked down I get an email. How cool is that? So, I was on one of my favorite store's website (Anthropologie) and found a wallpaper I loved but I didn't love the price of $198 a roll. Since it is Anthropologie and they have awesome sales I just politely saved it in Wishpot and went about my indecisive business. A month or two later I get a notice from Wishpot that said the wallpaper was marked down to $29.99 a roll. WHAT? Sold! I bought two rolls for Baby I's room and just like that the fabric has moved to be a part of the playroom decor. Yes, I know I am just a mess, but you just wait! Fabulousness is coming soon! In about 6-9 months that is! LOL

ThriftME!

2009-12-27T04:55:00.004-05:00

Day after Christmas shopping...gotta love it. I went out to get buttons for a coat but felt my car going in the direction of the thrift store and Anthropologie. It wasn't me I tell you. My first stop was the thrift store where I found a balance bike. So what did I pay? Check it out:

Balance bike normally $90. ThriftME price $4.84 (5% of the original) I am too lazy to take a picture b/c it is 5am but it looks exactly like this but the stain is a little faded from sitting in the sun. When I get on my paint run this summer, I plan to throw this little cutie in the mix also. A nice orange and yellow or turquoise and yellow will be fabulous I think!

Then my car keep on going to Anthropologie where I was very lucky because this store is moving and is the only Anthropologie in the area having a 40% of clearance items! SCORE. I found a dress, pair of pants, shirt and belt. The original price of all items was $292. ThriftME price was $31.68 (10% of the original).

Ahhh....a great day in ThriftME land not to be confused with ThriftME island (that was for you Robbin).

Raisins?

2009-12-25T19:07:00.004-05:00

Since I had absolutely nothing to do today (my last year of this! YEAHHH), I have been cleaning out my blog reader. I had over 130 blogs I was trying to keep up with. It was actually stressing me so I got rid of about 50. Now, If you do the calculation I still have over 80. Next holiday or snow day I'm getting rid of more...this is a full-time job I tell you...I'm sure I won't be getting rid of yours though. ;-)

Anyhoo, while looking at blogs I came across a man who did a raisin experiment with his son 2 years in a row. The first year when his kid was 3, his son seemed pretty happy about the raisins ranking his squeal a 6 out of 10. The second year when he was 4 his son was none too happy. As a matter of fact he couldn't believe he had "RAISINS!...You gave me raisins? Here, put this in your food!" O. MY. GOODNESS. This is the funniest Christmas present opening I have ever heard. It is a classic. Listen to both audio recordings here. It is so funny that I think I may do that experiment with Baby I but not using raisins. I'm looking forward to tormenting my child(ren) just as my mother did me! Opps I mean loving them dearly! LOL

Bigger & Deffer

2009-12-23T19:43:00.005-05:00

As I've gotten older many things have changed and one of those is my hair. My hair used to be crazy thick and crazy long (I could sit on it). But, I got it cut then started the necessary dye at age 25 due to being prematurely gray. So now I have regular, pretty unremarkable hair (to me). It is never going to grow to my butt again and frankly I'm over that. Ok...I do miss it but why cry over spilled milk....I just want something stylish. Since I wear my hair natural 80% of the time I want a hairstyle that works. So, in the spring/summer I'm going to go to a curly salon in NYC and get this cut.

My hair now. It's not to much different. The cut will add a little more volume. Make it Bigger & Deffer.

I love the cut but my mother and best friend don't. Not that I care (sorry Mom) but I like their feedback anyway. What do you think? Like, love or hmmm...not really. Again, not that I care but I thought I would ask. You won't ever be able to confuse me for a stodgy Mom.

BTW...for those of you who don't know what deffer is...remember LL Cool J's Bigger & Deffer album back in the day? I need love...

CIS Get it Together

2009-12-22T04:58:00.003-05:00

Last week I got a letter from CIS that said they lost a weeks worth of fingerprints and of course mine were a part of them. If it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all! So, on Friday I hustled myself down to USCIS before the blizzard of 2009 and took new ones. Let's hope they hold on to these! Still waiting for one authentication from Oklahoma then I need to go to Maryland to get other certifications and then to get my authentications then I'm done until the one from CIS comes! Then off to DC I go for that one then...package complete! What a journey.

2010 will be great!

Wonder Why Newspapers Are Failing?

2009-12-20T23:18:00.004-05:00

They don't check facts anymore...and I'm mad about it that they tried to take Public Enemy down with the sinking ship!

This video still reminds me how "unattractive" Flava Flav is! What were those women thinking in The Flavor of Love...couldn't have been me!

Bummed Out

2009-12-05T07:01:00.003-05:00

I'm so happy all of my blog buddies are getting their referrals, passing court and picking up their children but I am sad. I want my daughter home. I know this process has taken me forever due to personal reasons but now, that I am ready, I want Baby I home. I'm hoping my dossier will be on it's way to Ethiopia at the end of the month but that means at least 6 months of referral waiting but probably more like 7 or 8 then 6-7 weeks for court then another few weeks for travel. Yes, I'm pretty bummed...but I know it gives me more time for things I know I must accomplish before Baby I.

Hurry up documents!

Document Update

2009-11-13T12:44:00.001-05:00

Still waiting for a few documents in the mail but my authentications are rolling in!

Soon and very, very soon!

Word for Today: Bargain

2009-11-04T07:51:00.003-05:00

Along with my "shopping" I have found a few sites that will help you save a few dollars so I thought I would share. It's kinda fun to get free things in the mail even if it is only for 1-2 loads of laundry or a few cups of coffee. I get to try new things out and I get a chance to open something besides bills. I hope you enjoy some of the resources (I have more but I thought I would just post a few):

If I missed any good sites let me know. I'm always up for a bargain!

Deal of the Day

2009-10-31T11:17:00.007-04:00

You know by now that I am a thrift store loving, bargain finding, vintage wearing, trendy yet couture, bohemian mama (soon to be). So, since I have time to kill I'm starting a new posting called Deal of the Day. Robbin knows I like to call it Thrift Store Thursdays, but you never know where I'll find a deal and some I'll share with you so stay tuned.

This past week I got a jogging stroller, vintage school desk and hangers. I wasn't looking for any of the items but... Rule #1 of bargain shopper - be open to a bargain at any time!

The Stroller - $21.96

This Bell jogging stroller looks like it was never used more than a few times. It's in perfect condition not evan a fingerprint on the foam handle bar. If you know anything about jogging strollers you know they are pricey; I got this baby for a song...hmmm....Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah (remember that from church?)!

The Vintage School Desk - $4.54

In my family room I have a ginormous vintage chalkboard that I got on Freecycle (note...free). It's like 8-10 feet long. Baby I is going to have her own corner so when I am washing, in my office or watching the tube she can play. Her playroom is on the second loft level, but I won't feel comfortable with her all the way up there until she is much older. Plus, I followed my mother from room to room...I think I still do when she is around. I recall last month when she left the room I said "Mommy where are you going?" She said "the bathroom." Me..."can I go?" Just joking...but I did ask.

I think the desk will go nicely and look Fab once repainted and cleaned up! It looks like a big girl/boy desk but it is made for toddlers.

The hangers - $6.48 for 95

And just as I was trying to escape from the store I saw these colorful hangers. It looks like someones grandmother (definitely not mine) carefully knitted coverings for all of them. They are so cute and will look fabulous in Baby I's closet. NO MORE WIRE HANGERS! Right now the closet is full of baby hangers so I'll just pack them away for a few years until her clothes can fit them. I had to get them. You know the rule...Be prepared for a bargain at any time! And Rule #2- You snooze you loose or think long, think wrong. A thrift store doesn't keep items long. If you like it/love it...get it because it will NOT (I repeat WILL NOT) be there when you turn the corner to come back and get it. I've had many a bargain woe is me stories. :-)

Tell me about your bargains and where you got them from. I'm always open to new place where I can get a bargain.

See you soon for Deal of the Day!

Biometrics Today

2009-10-28T07:31:00.004-04:00

This morning I am going to have my FINAL Biometrics appointment at USCIS.

Last time I did this I had a big post and told jokes.

This time...I just want it over.

Sew What?

2009-10-27T07:37:00.006-04:00

While I'm waiting for my final documents to come in the mail and to pass the time until Baby I comes home, maybe I'll start sewing again. Yes, I can sew, but I don't like difficult projects. Lazy.

While surfing the web I found this cute pattern (on Etsy) for a little bubble skirt.

Maybe I'll make this hat also for next fall/winter.

Sew what do you think?

Baby Sightings

2009-10-25T09:07:00.002-04:00

Last night was the first night (where in my dream) I actually saw Baby I's face. Wow. What a beautiful face it is...she was very tiny (no surprise) had a beautiful brown complexion, piercing eyes and a tiny little bit of slicked down hair on her round head. When I saw her and held her I just started crying.

I know we all have these dreams of seeing our child(ren), but I still have this real feeling in my stomach. Like little butterflies. Maybe I am now having these dreams again because dossier completion is around the corner...that's weeks in adoption speak.

Close To My Heart

2009-10-21T07:36:00.004-04:00

Since I am on the count down to dossier completion (waiting for final appointments only), I thought I would love to have one of those lovely Ethiopian necklaces so many wear when waiting for their babes to come home. Then I thought, everyone has one, I want something different and I really don't want to explain why I'm wearing a shape of Africa around my neck to a random stranger. Yes, after 2 years in this process you get a little tired of answering questions (me: Because. Why not? You should try it. How many children have you adopted in Africa, America or otherwise?...oops I digress). Something I can call my own and maybe pass on to Baby I. I'm sentimental like that. So, on one of my thrift days or as I call it Thrift Store Thursdays (everything is 25% off or on holidays it's 50%) I found this great vintage locket. It's not an ordinary locket but this huge long one. I'm so excited. I can put Baby I's picture in it, but until then I'll put a small map of Ethiopia in it with the name Baby I on the other side.

When I don't have hair all over my head and sleep in my eyes I'll take a picture wearing the locket. You're gonna love it...I know I do!

Free Carseat

2009-10-14T13:36:00.003-04:00

I forgot to mention I took a class last week where I got a free carseat and fire extinguisher. I'm appreciative of my free seat but I don't love it. It just doesn't look very comfy. No, I didn't sit my big butt in it however it just looks hard and it isn't cute! Yes, I know that is NOT important. LOL I did some checking and the carseat is okay for the value...we got shortchanged on the cushioning though so I would have to buy more if this were it. I'm going to use this carseat as the back-up for her padrinos (godparents) who live 5 five minutes away and grandmother when she comes to town. Other than that, I'm still getting a Britax!

On the Count Down to Fabric Love

2009-10-13T07:55:00.006-04:00

I've received a few calls and emails from people wondering what is going on with me and the status of my adoption...basically wth (heck) is going on! Here's the skinny:

- sitting here (obviously)

- simultaneously finishing my FINAL...repeat after me...FINAL updates (for everything) and DOSSIER!

- waiting for my fingerprint appointment which is Oct. 28 (I believe)

- believing my dossier will FINALLY be submitted within the next 30 days! Yes, yuck it up.

Now I can get my count on.

Why did I take so long with all of the concerns and changes with singles? Well, life happens! I am a firm believer that What God Has For You Is For You. No, life is never going to be perfect or there is never going to be a perfect time to be a parent, but in my heart of hearts my spirit and my God said peace be still. I had to be still until I was at peace with whatever came forth in my life (and with the adoption)...

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ” Philippians 4: 67

Finally, I'm at peace. Let the wait begin!!!!!

In other exciting, breaking news. I picked out a fabric for the baby's room, although you have about 6 months of my decor changes...I really like this one. Fun no? My mother said "WOW, busy!" I said, "Of course and fun too!" You can't have the prima donna II (my family calls me prima donna I) now can you? LOL

What do you think? It is a vintage fabric I found for $4! I love it even if you don't, I've never been one to follow many trends. It should give you hints at what's soon to come...but if you know some of the hints can you tell me because I honestly haven't figured them out yet. LOL

Baby Mama Drama Queen Has Landed in Ethiopia

2009-08-31T14:05:00.004-04:00

I usually don't get to report baby news first and I don't have Facebook (yet), so I may not be the first, but I just got off of Skype with Robbin AND she just came back (to the hotel) from seeing LuLu. She uploaded a video for me and can I tell you Scotland Lulako is amazingly beautiful!

She was all smiles for her Mommy! Robbin said she did not cry one time. You know Robbin is not very emotional (oh, sorry Robbin...that is our little secret) and doesn't cry so one of her friends that traveled with her (two went) cried and when she called me, I cried! Can you believe it...I cried. What a Wuss!!!!! Robbin laughed at us both.

Technology is amazing and I love it! If I hear anything else I'll let you know.

4???

2009-08-15T15:43:00.003-04:00

I had a dream that I adopted 4 siblings from Ethiopia at the same time! ROTFL! Now we know that was a dream.

Unless:

I hit the major jackpot AND

Move my mother to this city AND

hit the major jackpot...oh, I said that already... you better believe I will NEVER adopt 4 siblings at once!

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I woke up in a cold sweat also.

Win a Designer Chair for Your Baby

2009-07-31T08:24:00.006-04:00

I normally don't post about contests, but this is my favorite chair. I haven't gotten one yet, but I would love to have a big one and little one for Mommy and Baby I.

Over at A Brooklyn Limestone she is giving away a mini Ghost chair by Kartell. Check it out! Maybe the winner will be you.

Hair Helper

2009-07-30T16:51:00.003-04:00

Many of you mamas wonder how to keep you daughter's hair fresh and free of split ends. One way to help is a silk or satin pillow case and I can help you out with that. I have 6 brand new ones that I'm selling from my collection. Don't ask why I have 6, you never know with me. It's just weird.

The cases are a beautiful chocolate color and still in the package. Originally priced at $29.95 but I'm letting them go at cost for $15 plus shipping. See: satin serenity for the scoop!

Love These!

2009-07-23T18:56:00.005-04:00

How cute are these coats and hat by Lemon Loves Lime? Kinda pricey, but heck I have another season or two before Baby I can wear them so I'm looking forward to SALE time!

She Has The Moves

2009-07-18T09:35:00.000-04:00

Can you move like this?

I know I can't. This little girl could give Beyonce a run for her money.

My New Nephew

2009-07-08T00:01:00.001-04:00

Did I tell you I have a new nephew?

He is my mother's first grandchild, but I told my brother he better have a boy as to not steal my baby girl's thunder. He obliged. My baby brother is so accommodating! :-)

Behold the cuteness of Adam Wesley.

Mama and Baby will Sparkle Together

2009-07-07T12:36:00.004-04:00

I'm not very subtle. Shocker. I like to get my point across. In my talk, walk, dress or writing (lol). I'm bohemian, couture, vintage, glittery and love sparkles!

A few weeks ago, on one of my thrift store haunts, I found a silver metallic vintage baby dress that will match a top I have. Sold. I couldn't hold my excitement. Baby I will be a little vintage couture fly baby. LOL Now, all I need is my baby. Help me!

FYI...my top used to be a fabulous dress that I wore with pride, 10 years ago, when I was a size 4-6. AWWW...dem was the days. If I could figure out how to get my printer (I've only had my Mac over a year now) working with my Mac I would scan a lovely picture for you. Youth.

Black Kids?

2009-07-06T09:23:00.005-04:00

The name of this pop group is Black Kids. Hmmmm...scratching my head. What ye think?

I Want a Madsen Cargo Bike!

2009-07-05T03:21:00.007-04:00

In addition to having visions of one day having a daughter, I have visions of the two of us riding around our neighborhood on one of those cool cargo bikes. My dropping Baby I off at daycare/preschool, going to Whole Foods or the Co-op, the Saturday Farmer's Market, to the Park, to visit friends, to dinner and so on. The problem is my visions always come at a very high cost, but... I found a great contest to enter on Madsen Cycles site. The probability of my winning is low, but nothing beats a failure but a try. Do you think I can add this bike to my baby registry? Maybe someone will get it for Baby I?

Oh, you can try to win also, someone has to have the luck of the Irish...maybe you are Irish? :-)

OMG...I missed my 2 year anniversary!

2009-06-21T16:26:00.003-04:00

Can you believe it? I've been blogging for 2 years! I certainly thought Baby I would be home by now. So many of you have said you saw my blog before you even began your process and now your baby is home. Some people who used to like me don't even show me any love anymore (insert sad face here) probably because they hate my ramblings or because there is no cute little face to look at. How do you think I feel! LOL

Man plans and God does. So many things have happened in the last two years that have been of my doing and some not but the end result was the same, it wasn't time. As much as I wanted it to be my time, it wasn't but now my time is coming. I no longer stress anything. I just know that it is. I just know that God's timing and his hand in my life is perfect. It always is perfect...and as much as I hate to admit it, the last two years of my life have been perfect as well. Full of pain, hurt, tears, trauma and drama but perfect because without that I would not be here in the glory of today's peace being able to say..."I made it through." I am now that much stronger. Not only will I be a better mother for Baby I, I am now a better person and for that I am so grateful.

To see how my journey began one year ago click here.

Will This Ever End?

2009-06-16T09:06:00.004-04:00

My social worker said my homestudy is expired! I need to update it and redo ALL of my forms!!!!!!!!

WT#$%^&!@#*($)%)(!*#&$&%(%&@(!)$*%&%&!$(@(!$&%@(!&#&$*(@

$800 more plus all of the other costs and wait times.

Bridge...

Jump...

ARGH...will this ever end?????

Passport Photos

2009-06-14T16:06:00.004-04:00

Can you tell me why my passport photos look like I should be entering drug rehab? I am NOT sending these pictures in with my dossier! I must try again (with new pictures) and pray for a better outcome. I'm pretty sure I'll be stopped entering/leaving any foreign country with this passport picture. UGHHHHH. My old one was so cute...dem was da days. Was it the lack of sleep? Different hairstyle that didn't photograph well? Them telling me not to smile (new rule)? Or just the additional 10 years? Hmmm...I'm gonna go with the first 3.

What's New?

2009-06-12T14:50:00.002-04:00

Read my buddy Robbin's post and decided stream of conscious posting is a good thing. REAL.
Turned 40. WHATEV'.
I'm obsessed with my dossier at the moment. Almost done. Waiting on my new passport.
Dating someone new. ADORE.
Still buying Baby I stuff but not clothes, mostly bedroom and playroom items. INSANE.
Who knew I had so many items to get rid of. Who bought all of this crap any way? ARGH.
I've spent hours upon hours in my front yard working on creating a native garden. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. I'm going to start working on my backyard tomorrow. Send up some prayers! NEED.
Freecycle has become my bestfriend. People want all of the stuff I don't and I usually want someone else's unwanted items which have become my treasures. LOVE.
I have new design clients. FUN.
I volunteer on Friday's at my church with the youth ministry. VERY FUN.
Excited that my countdown will finally begin to referral in a matter of weeks. I know you never thought this day would come. Hmmm...me either. FINALLY!

Grandmother's Rock

2009-05-11T07:46:00.004-04:00

Look at the cool poster I'm getting for the playroom courtesy of Grandma.

Thanks Mom! You Rock! I think I'll keep you.

Not only will my kid(s) be stylin' (What happens when adoption takes 3 years to complete? You have a closet full of clothes...literally) she/he will have the cutest playroom on the block. Ok, never mind I only have 14 houses on my street. Semantics.

Have Journal, Make Plan

2009-04-14T03:31:00.008-04:00

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a doctor, nurse, model, teacher, rich, a mommy, veterinarian, designer, an architect and have lots of clothes. My family just called me a prima donna, but alas I never quite figured out how to turn that "uniqueness" into anything tangible.

I've decided I would help Baby I out early (because clearly I'm going to be raising her and she'll be a mini me, so what does that give you?) by getting her this journal because I'm pretty sure this really should have been my plan:

Since it's too late for me becoming a princess and since I'm coming into my own now that I'm turning 40 in June (and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up) I've decided that this is my "new" plan, so I'm going to start making plans now:

Since I have been having Baby Boy dreams, maybe I should help him with his future as well (what a good Mom I am). You know I'm all about living your dreams.

Ok, okay! If all else fails Mommy will be practical:

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T13:34:00.003-04:00

Most of the time on holidays you get grumpy posts from me but nosirrebob, not any more! I'm finishing my dossier and this time next year if Baby I is not home at least I will have my court date and be on my way, so I'm happy and thought I would say Happy Easter!

I know, I know this is a first! :-)

What You Do When You Don't Have Kids

2009-04-10T11:13:00.006-04:00

One of my friends doesn't have any kids. She says she may want to "have" one but she isn't married. She just turned 43. To satisfy her child urge she got a dog last year. Now, I know that dogs are like kids, but her dog gets treated like Baby I will (ok, almost). He goes to camp, the salon, has a dog walker, special meals, etc. She was even considering having a nose surgery to open up his nasal passage some (deviated septum?). He did have a few surgeries last year which set her back a cool $6k; he is still a baby not even 2. Whew.

By the way, his daycamp fees are the same as what you would pay for your child to go to daycare. Following are pictures of her dog from daycamp playing soccer, with the Easter Bunny and on an Easter egg hunt. Hilarious!

On a side note: my mother is considering giving me her dog. You better believe, as much as I love that dog, Mr. Pepper Fox will not participate in any daycamp unless it is in my backyard and it involves chasing a squirrel, cat or one of those big a@@ opossum.

I'm Not Going To Be Selfish...Today.

2009-04-08T19:56:00.010-04:00

Sometimes I have these really great finds and I don't share. Don't act like you are shocked, come on you don't always share either. Remember the time there was that Britax carseat at Target for a steal at $42? Only 1 person emailed and told me about it, yet I read about it on a dozen blogs...plus those who didn't post about it. I get it, we like to keep our great finds to ourselves and want to be the only ones with something. But, this time I came across something that was really, really, really cute (that I'm getting Baby I) and I was in a sharing mood like when I told you about MamaBargains ...ok, so here it is:

A personalized wire hanger for kids. Oooppsss...forget the "no more wire hangers" thing that Joan Crawford had; I mean how many of these have you seen before? Wouldn't this make a great baby shower gift for friends? Yup! For only $10 your gift, from lilafrances shop on Etsy, will be the most original and cutest!

My civic duty is done for the day!

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord?

2009-04-07T21:16:00.004-04:00

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....

author: unknown

Lord ...
Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled" when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my skin,

as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and panther,

Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back...that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Bored with Blog Name...again

2009-04-05T10:53:00.004-04:00

I'm sooooooo bored with this blog name! I created it at the beginning of the process before I really knew what a blog was and before I realized I even liked blogging. Now, I have two blogs and even have a little online personality...therefore this blog name reallyyyy doesn't reflect what I would like it to. Yes, Baby I is my blessing, but I have a "mo betta" blog name that I am dying to use. What do you think? Should I wait to re-do my blog until I finally get a referral (btw...I'm back to finishing my dossier) or should I start now? Oh, I will have to change my address (have that) too because I want everything new.

Hmmm, now that I've used the blog for my own therapy today, I've decided to wait because I really don't have anything new to say. Same 'ole, same 'ole but just know as soon as I get my referral...WE'RE MOVING! And you better come visit us at our swanky new spot!

Say Mama

2009-03-27T07:31:00.006-04:00

Exactly one week later, more Baby Boy dreams last night:

I was in my family room in the basement (where I spend most of my time) and I turned my office into his nursery. My mother put him down to sleep, but I wanted to see him and went in. He was in his crib just rolling around smiling. I laughed and couldn't resist picking him up and then I had to change his diaper. He started with the kiddie chatter saying "ba ba." I replied say "ma ma." He laughed and we went back and forth until I woke up.

Am I going to have these dreams of babies, until Baby I or Baby Boy come home, for the next year or so? Nesting or heart-rending?

Still Dreaming

2009-03-20T08:04:00.012-04:00

Last night I had another dream...about my son this time!

I was at a party and a father who could not take care of his little boy asked me to be his mother. I was taken aback but in my articulate nature said "seriously?" (all those degrees and all I can could up with is seriously) He said "yes" and gave me the child wrapped up like a bunch of roses with one fresh rose sticking out. When I got back to the party, where my mother was, I said to her "congratulations it's a boy!" I proceeded to unwrap the package only to find roses. My heart sank. This guy quickly came around the corner saying "you have my roses." He took them and gave me another package. I opened the new package and inside I didn't find roses, but the tiniest baby boy. He was like a little parrot though, mimicking me. I started crying because he was in my arms. He looked sad and he had bruises on his face, I wondered if something was physically wrong with him and if I made a mistake. However, the longer I held him the happier he became and the more his imperfections balanced out or became perfect (if you will). It was like he knew he had a safe place and mother now, so all that was wrong internally and externally could now heal.

Deep huh?

Now, to lighten up the mood, since you have seen my thoughts about Baby I's room, I wanted to share Baby Boy's room ideas too. I've just started the boy collection, so I'm sure there are more to come. You know I believe in beautiful living! I guess I should start playing that lotto too! All this foreshadowing is telling me that Mommy of 2 is in my near future.

Dang, I hope I start dreaming about a very handsome and wealthy husband (that is mine) next! ;-)

Do You Think It Was Something I Said?

2009-03-17T01:09:00.005-04:00

Thanks to the advent of social networking, twice last week, I connected with friends I haven't seen in -- covering my mouth while saying the number -- years. I knew one of my ~~useless obsessions~~ online networking mediums would yield success eventually!

We sent a few obligatory emails back and forth with the "WOWS" and "what is going on in your life?" After I got the updates about divorces, kids, careers, etc. I shared my big news: I'M ADOPTING!

crickets

tumbleweeds

hello...hello...helloooooooooooo

Was it something I said? I told one of them I was adopting from Africa, the other I may have said Ethiopia or I may have just said adopting, but nevertheless...

Ummm...nada

Oh, well. I guess I won't hear from them for umpteen more years again.

I guess it was something I said; I plan to say it over and over again until Baby I comes home! I'm adopting! Haters.

6th Folder/6th Photo

2009-03-14T14:31:00.013-04:00

No one tagged me, but over at Kerri's blog she was too lazy to do, so I just tagged myself (these are her words, not mine). The rules are: go to the 6th folder in my photos folder and post the 6th picture in the folder and then tag 6 people.

My 6th folder happens to be a folder for all things Baby I. Following is the 6th picture which is one of the ideas that I like for her nursery. I am going to be raising a little prima donna to take my throne you know! I don't like the fabric choices but I do like the inspiration for the design:

Here is another picture I like (not the fabric choices). Clearly, not the 6th photo, but we are moving beyond that now.

I tag...Celeste, Robbin, Valarie, Nancy (Beautiful Children), Laura, and Tracey (Amara's Mom).

No Baby but Baby's Table

2009-03-12T12:30:00.009-04:00

As I've said before, I'm addicted to vintage/thrift stores...and freecycle and craigslist and ebay and outlet malls and... This morning I met a friend at our local Value Village Thrift Store where we find some great deals and one of a kind items. Today, I found a great vintage table for Baby I. Love. I decided the table would look great in the "new" sunroom that I have been working on since I got rid of the hot tub.

Ohhh...ahhh...and it is orange! Look at those mushroom tops and lovely lines. Brady Bunch eat your heart out! Love at first sight. It fits perfectly with my decor. Did I mention it was $24.82 less my 25% discount card. LOL Yes, I have a discount card to Value Village.

Mommy's Table...Baby I's Table

Domestic Foster/Adoption Also?

2009-03-10T19:16:00.006-04:00

While I'm waiting for Baby I besides doing the normal things like shopping, working out and de-cluttering I've been watching a lot of TV. OK so that is normal too, but I've been watching a lot of programs related to adoption, foster care and Ethiopia. I may as well tug the heart strings for the next year or so.

If you didn't know, before I made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia I considered adopting domestically but decided to wait until Baby I was home. I've always wanted at least two children so a second domestic adoption is a real possibility. I even completed all of my course work through DC Children and Family Services to adopt/foster from the city. I was never quite sure if this was the right path for me but I've been thinking more and more about it lately.

Over the Christmas Holidays I watched the TV special with Faith Hill Home for the Holidays where they celebrated adoption and showed a number of adoptive families telling their stories. I sat in front of the TV for those few hours crying and thinking about older children needing homes just as much as I think about the children in Ethiopia needing homes. I then knew I also had to foster/adopt a child from the States once Baby I came home. There are so many children everywhere that need families, I just really want to live in a mansion and love up on them all day long.

This past weekend I watched a Lifetime movie (TiVo) about a young man (America) in the foster care system. Rosie O'Donnell is the psychiatrist that helps him come to terms with his roller coaster life.

In typical Tami fashion, I got emotional. I got knots in my stomach...the I have to do something else kind. I just can't take it! All of these statistics are killing me.

More than half of a million kids in foster care. Once they age out of the system only 2 out of 10 will make it. The others will end up homeless, in prison or dead. I know adopting/fostering older children comes with other issues but someone has to do it. But of course it is all just talk now, I really have to think all of this through and do a whole lot of planning. A whole lot! Maybe winning the lotto would be a plus also!

No News is Just... Purgatory

2009-02-08T06:39:00.007-05:00

I haven't had any dreams.

I haven't done any shopping.

My agency is not providing any hope.

I'm just here.

Frustrated with the whole process but still here. I have friends that started the process with me being put on waitlist but not me...I can only wait until my time which apparently is FOREVER!!!!!!!

I feel like I'm stuck in purgatory!

Am I a tad bit annoyed?

Yup! Purgatory. Annoyed.

Oh, well. Even if all singles were grandfathered with the current waitlist Baby I probably wouldn't be home until the summer of 2010 anyway. What's 6 more months right? I'm praying for a late summer 2010 referral and picking my Baby Girl up Dec. 2010. I don't even want to talk about the new rumors that all singles are going to be banned come Sept. 2009, that is just too much for me even to deal with at this moment.

I guess it is just the fact that I am being told they can't and won't even look at my paperwork until the 2010-2011 court year that sits on a nerve.

I just want my baby home!!!!!!!!

OK...back to regularly scheduled programing!

Thanks for listening/reading.

My Dream

2008-12-19T08:20:00.005-05:00

Now, I'm starting to have crazy dreams...thanks Robbin.

I was at a vintage store and this woman, who I have never seen before, walked up to me and said "I heard for sure that we won't have to wait as long as they say for our children to come home." I said "really, how do you know?" She said "she spoke with someone from another agency who has a contact at MOWA." She was writing the name down for me, but she didn't have a piece of paper, so she started writing, with a marker, on an antique tortoise shell plate. I was looking at her like are you serious but of course I just wanted the information so I didn't stop her. In the meantime, the owner came over and was very calm about it. She just sprayed a solution that took the name away...the name was Amy Enfarri or something like that. She then brought back a nasty mop for us to use to clean up the mess on the plate. I asked if she had paper towels. She said "no paper towels were available for vandals, we could use the mop then leave." Of course we would be banned for life from the store. I wanted so badly to say BANNED I didn't do the writing, I didn't have the pen in my hand, I don't even know this chick, but I just wanted that number of Amy Enfarri so I didn't say a word...I just waited for the unnamed vandal to finish writing the name on a piece of paper to hand to me. Then the TV minister woke me up.

One side of me wants to say this dream is a good sign. The other side says this dream happened because we have been obsessing about finding every little detail about what is going on and trying to predict how long the wait will really be. What to do? What to do? But, I don't really remember my dreams. So, I'm going to go with this was a sign and that we will all be grandfathered in and Baby I will be home soon.

BTW...if you haven't figured it out, I'm checking in from time to time. I can't leave you guys...so now I have 2 blogs!

I Miss This Blog!

2008-12-17T09:11:00.006-05:00

I miss my blog!!!! BUT...nothing is going on and (they say) will happen in my adoption until the 2010-2011 court year. I have nothing to write about! Whaw whaw.

Just a little venting!

New Blog

2008-12-07T21:30:00.004-05:00

I finally did it!

I have a new blog, Middle Rageously.

Come on over and visit and maybe you will come visit more often.

I plan on shutting this site down at the beginning of the year so please come visit before then.

No More Tears

2008-11-18T06:42:00.004-05:00

It's always better in the morning. These past few years have not been easy for me and yesterday was like the sour icing on my dropped cake. I felt like my world had come to a complete halt.

Early this morning I prayed and decided to give it up to God. So much has happened and it has all happened for a reason. I know that and have always believed so why stop now just because things aren't going my way? He has never forsaken me before and will not now. His Grace and Mercy are so apparent in my life how can I be anything but humbled and grateful.

I've been on this path for over a year now; I was planning on submitting my dossier in the next few weeks so it would have been two years when Baby I came home anyway. Two years will move fast. Who knows what other blessings he will have in store for me during that time. I have a lot of things I need to do so I'll just get to doing them. I'm sure I'll still have pangs of sadness and want to rush the process but I'm good...God is working my life out.

All of the things I can look forward to doing for two more years:

sleeping
traveling
shopping
spending money on me
fixing up my house
working late
dating (maybe finding a husband...lol)
sleeping more
not cooking for two
working on my new blog (I'll post the link soon)
starting to work towards my black belt
living fabulously

Hey, the more I read this list I'm thinking I'm going to like this (smile). Maybe I'll get a dog.

Be Blessed,

Tami

Heartbroken and Shutting Down

2008-11-17T20:33:00.005-05:00

I just learned today that because of the new ruling for single women by MOWA and where I fall on my agency's approval list, my daughter won't be home until sometime in 2011. I am heartbroken. I've been crying in my mother's arms like a baby. It's a good thing I am in South Carolina dealing with a family illness (I guess).

I wanted you all to know, I am shutting my blog down. I can't continue this for the next two years. I know everything happens for a reason although I don't know what the reason for this is yet. I'll miss you all!

See you in two years!

Selam,

Tami

Day Late Dollar Short

2008-11-17T12:29:00.003-05:00

I hate to loose out on a bargain! Man, oh man. Yesterday, all of you lucky ducks who won the Britax carseat I'm a little salty over here! I wanted one. When I found out about it last night around 10pm Target caught on and it was G-O-N-E! So, so, sad! If anyone bought an extra one let me know. If you didn't buy an extra one boo on you! LOL I'm glad you got a bargain though. I still have plenty of time to hopefully find another great bargain. Lip stuck out and pouty face I have!

A Quickie

2008-11-14T21:43:00.006-05:00

I've been so out of it lately dealing with family issues that I haven't posted until Elsa's Mom posted this meme. I decided to play since it would take my mind off of my dramas, for at least five minutes, to post this. You gotta love one word answers. Quick, short and to the point. Nothing like a quickie...heehee. Get your mind out of the gutter!

· Where is your mobile phone? Here

· Where is your significant other? Dreams

· Your hair color? Red

· Your mother? Awesome

· Your father? Dead

· Your favorite thing? Travel

· Your dream last night? Unknown

· Your dream goal? Peace

· The room you’re in? Hotel

· Your hobby? Design

· Your fear? Alone

· Where do you want to be in 6 years? Family

· Where were you last night? Mother

· What you’re not? Rich

· One of your wish-list items? Villa

· Where you grew up? Cleveland

· The last thing you did? Eat

· What are you wearing? PJs

· Your TV? Watched

· Your pets? None

· Your computer? Appendage

· Your mood? Reflective

· Missing someone? Me

· Your car? Tickets

· Something you’re not wearing? Thongs

· Favorite shop? Target

· Your summer? Over

· Love someone? Unconditionally

· Your favorite color? Orange

· When is the last time you laughed? Today

· When is the last time you cried? Yesterday

Okay, your turn...